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IWW
Practice-W Exercise Archives
Exercise: Do your worst (Version 2)
These exercises were written
by IWW members
and administrators to provide structured practice opportunities for its
members.
You are welcome to use them for practice as well. Please mention that
you found
them at the Internet Writers Workshop
(http://www.internetwritingwor
kshop.org/).
Prepared by: Rheal Nadeau
Posted on: April 3, 2004
Reposted on: February 21, 2005
Reposted on: February 26, 2006
Reposted, revised on: November 18, 2007
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Exercise: In the spirit of the famous Bulwer-Lytton contest, write
one to three *bad* opening sentences no longer than 60 words
apiece.
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Most of the time, of course, we try to write beautifully. In order to
do things better, however, it sometimes helps to look at what makes
things wrong. Finding out what not to do is just as important as
finding out what to do.
Perhaps more than any other, one phrase has come to symbolize bad
writing: "It was a dark and stormy night." This is part of the
opening of the novel *Paul Clifford*, by Edward Bulwer-Lytton.
The full opening sentence actually reads:
It was a dark and stormy
night; the rain fell in torrents--except
at occasional intervals,
when it was checked by a violent gust of
wind which swept up the
streets (for it is in London that our
scene lies), rattling along
the house-tops, and fiercely agitating
the scanty flame of the
lamps that struggled against the
darkness.
Longtime IWW owner Rheal Nadeau read this novel and wrote,
"It's not a bad book overall, but it is very overwritten by today's
standards. For example, sheep are not sheep but 'that pastoral
animal which changes its name into mutton after its decease' or 'the
white flocks, - those most peaceful of God's creatures, - that in fleecy
clusters stud the ascent.' The host of a party is never referred to as
the host, but as 'the master of the ceremonies,' 'the monarch of the
rooms,' 'the man of balls,' 'the tutelary spirit of the place,' or 'the
Lycurgus of the rooms.'"
To put this in perspective, Bulwer-Lytton was a contemporary of
Charles Dickens; in fact, the two were friends and admired each
other's work. And let's keep in mind that Dickens was hardly terse
himself. The opening to *A Tale of Two Cities* is not simply the
famous "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times," but
actually goes on and on. So perhaps we shouldn't judge
Bulwer-Lytton by current standards.
Nonetheless, so famous is the "dark and stormy night" opening that
it has spawned a bad writing contest to "compose the opening
sentence to the worst of all possible novels." You might check out the
contest and its winners at http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/. If we look
at what makes those opening sentences bad, maybe we can learn
something about avoiding bad writing.
-------------------------
Exercise: In the spirit of the famous Bulwer-Lytton contest, write
one to three *bad* opening sentences no longer than 60 words
apiece.
-------------------------
When critiquing, try to pinpoint what makes each sentence bad.
Suggest ways to make it worse, and also how to "correct" it; thus the
critiquing portion of the exercise also involves a writing exercise.
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Web site created by
Rhéal Nadeau and
the administrators of the Internet Writing Workshop.
Modified by Greg Gunther.
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